Happy Holidays from a Working Girl

Working on the Friday before a holiday week is torture in the most inhumane way. Only way to survive is to plug in the Lady Gaga Pandora station and try not to stare longingly at the clock.

If you're at work right now here's a list of things you're probably doing to make it to 5 o'clock

1. Social media - as if you don't do that everyday
2. Participating in an office-wide gif e-mail battle. You know the e-mails that never end due to people posting random/funny gifs they find. 
3. Going to bathroom or getting water. That wastes a good couple of minutes. 
4. Refreshing your mail and getting nothing new. Duh! Everyone else is already on the holiday break. 
5. Thinking about the alcohol you will consume once the bell tolls 5. 

As a fellow working girl, have a very pc Happy Holidays!

Gift Giving Guide for Guys

So here we are. The holiday season is in fully swing, and the credit cards are swiping right along. I dread present selection for the holidays. Why you ask? Because boys are impossible to buy for. Their presents are boring, and I get tired of always giving my boyfriend a shirt. Practical and predictable. Where's the fun in that?

Here's a quick cheat sheet of ideas I've garnered for my own needs. I am sharing with all those lost and confused females that aimlessly wander up and down the aisles of Academy in search of something.

• Video games ($50) - While some are a little pricey, I know my boyfriend becomes gaming-obsessed during his free time. Don't know what game the guy in your life would like? They really do have a game for everything. Sports, fantasy, war. Call of Duty and Assassins Creed are two very popular options. 
• Cologne ($50-$55) - This present is a little riskier. It's hard to guess fragrance for guys, and I've come to learn that all men are extremely particular. Yet, if you feel confident, go for it! Not to mention you'll benefit from it also. Soak in the musky aroma. 
• Ball Caps ($15) - Every guy could use a ball cap. Think it's a little generic? You can always get it customized by a shop at your local mall or online!
• Beer Brewing (varies) - For men of legal drinking age, what better gift than beer. Not only is it probably one of his favorite past times, but he'll feel important since he's the one in control of his brew. I purchased the Beer Machine in the past, and it really works great!
• Sporting tickets (varies) - Whether to a minor league baseball game or an NBA game, sporting events are a great gift idea. Not to mention, if you get two, you'll get to go! Look at it as a different way to spend some time together.

Well that's the list to get your idea train started. Let me know if you have any great ideas! I'm always looking for new guy presents. Why can't they just be easy and like nail polish?

Eve of Thanksgiving

'Twas the eve of Thanksgiving when all through the work place, employees stared at the clock putting on quite a sad face. Come on five o'clock they beg and they wish. I'm ready for Thanksgiving day and a nice turkey dish.

Oh two glorious days off appeared right ahead. They all planned on spending it nestled in bed. With mama in the kitchen and the men by the TV, football drowns out the sound of the pee-wees.

Just make it to five, just the end of the day. That thing called work is really getting in the way. Oh, here I go pretending to labor. It all will be worth it, Thanksgiving break savior.

But It's Mid-November

The local radio station has officially started playing 24 hours of Christmas music as of Sunday, November 18.

But it's Mid-November.

Poor Thanksgiving is the red-headed stepchild of holidays.

5 Most Ridiculous Perfume Ads

Although, yes I'm an advertising professional, even I can admit when the ads out there get a little bit wonky. A genre that tends to get real ridiculous, real fast? Perfume. Sure there's the normal scantily clad beautiful woman with a bottle, but some go above and beyond.

Which ones you ask? Read on, I say.

• Moschino Glamour Perfume

Obviously this glamour perfume makes your lips curl into a kissy face as you wonder why you were born a female, pretending a strand of your hair is a french mustache. Spray some more on me!

• Lady GaGa Fame

I'll preface this by saying I am a die hard LGG fan, but yet this ad seems a bit much. What woman wants men climbing all over her? Isn't one enough? Not to mention who knows the last time they washed their hands.

• Siren by Paris Hilton

Wow, just wow. The only thing worse than Paris Hilton is the Ariel-esque Paris Hilton. Strangely, I think she has more clothes on in this ad than she normally does in real life.

• Gucci by Gucci

Nothing makes we want to buy a bottle of perfume quite like a 35 pound bottle. Bigger isn't always better. And judging from the look on the models face, perfume may cause depression.

• Someday by Justin Bieber 

Oh the bieber-fever. As if his masculinity wasn't already in question, he then releases a ladies perfume line and a nail polish line.

Have any that you think should have made the list? Let me know!

Fantasy Football Problems: A Follow Up

Sure, people can argue the negative side of social media in today’s world. It takes over our lives, we cut down our sentences to 140 characters, and some become delusional about their relationships with celebrities—although the verified Lady GaGa does follow me so therefore it is not a delusion.  In the next few paragraphs I will inform the public of one example of good that resulted from the wonderful outlet known as Twitter. Twitter helped me win my fantasy football game.

Let me set the scene. It’s Sunday better known as Gameday. My star wide-receiver, Roddy White, is questionable to play, and Yahoo! informs me it will be a “game time decision”. Game time decision! How is a girl supposed to set up her line up? As luck would have it, he is playing the late game, so I have to make my benching decisions immediately. As I sit there, chomping on my nails and browsing through my other wide receiver options, I realize that this Roddy White circus could make or break my outcome of the week. I mean I am playing against Drew Brees and AJ Green, so every point I can get matters!

That is when it dawned on me. I quickly opened a new tab and Googled “Roddy White twitter”. I was led directly to his page, and the answer to my dilemma was typed in front of me. It seemed as if he was tweeting right to me.

Fantasy owners I’m playing Monday. In 33 characters, I was able to make an educated decision. Had this scenario occurred in a pre-social media world, I would not have been able to access this piece of insider information. Social media allows us to connect to people and events in real time and in ways that were previously impossible. Needless to say, this piece of information led to a victory.

Oh The Places You'll Go (But Really the People You'll See)

Last night, at an hour much past my preferred slumber time, I got in the car and trekked out to the airport to pick up the younger sibling. This brings me to my first question. Why are airports never located near the city that they service? They are always on the outskirts at the absolute most inconvenient location. Yet, away I drove, minutes upon minutes until I at last arrived.

On said trip to the airport, the adventurers were my parents and I later joined by my sister once her plane finally arrived. Now, our airport is not very large, and everything on the inside was closed by the time we got there. Here I was thinking the trip would be unexciting and bland. Boy was I wrong. I forgot about the people you see in an airport.

Right outside of an airport gate is the mixing pot of society. The characters range from people waiting for their loved ones, traveling professionals, and mish mosh of others.

The first character was a middle-aged black man who was nonchalantly reading the newspaper. I assumed him to be waiting for his wife to arrive, but who can really be sure? His person seemed irrelevant until a construction worker walked past the man and suddenly you hear "Grrr. Yip, yip, yip. Grrr." Upon further inspection, I notice that a miniature schnauzer-esque dog was perched in his lap. All two pounds of the animal about to lurch at the passing constructionite. Crazy dog people.

Another woman I saw was an elderly Asian lady standing shy of five feet tall. She had on bedazzled tennis shoes, white pants, hot pink stretchy top, and pearled cat glasses straight out of the 70s. She looked fabulous, and I loved every second of it.

The last character worth mentioning was a young, professional white woman who got off the same plane as my sister. She donned a color block dress, four inch stilettos and worked her Louis Vuitton bag down the exit ramp as though we were all here for her fashion show.

It makes me realize that you should always make a statement with your style. You never know who's noticing.

When to Post a Blog

Have you ever wondered when is the best time to post a blog? The best day? Well first, it depends what you are looking for. Social interaction, pageviews or unique viewers all pique on different days and times. The first step is determine what you're after.

Here's a quick list for all you bloggers out there. Hope you find it helpful and may your blogging be ever successful!

• Blogs posted on Mondays get the most traffic. But if it's shares you're after, those are best on Thursdays!
• Blogs see the most traffic around 10 am CST. So make sure you get up early to pen those thoughts!
• If it's comments you're after, try posting on Sundays as historically that day sees the most. 

The post I read had many more statistics, but these are few nitty, gritty details. Main takeaway, publish early and throughout the week. This will help your blogging to get the most reach and interaction. In my time blogging, I have definitely noticed the trend of early morning posting results in more views.

Happy blogging!

Source: http://socialfresh.com/best-time-of-day-to-blog/

Conversation Snippet

Blog section that I will post when I find a part of an overhead conversation interesting, humorous, strange, etc.

Where: a local coffee spot
Between: the cashier and customer

Conversation snippet:


Cashier: "Wouldn't that be cool if that was my job. Official greeter... just like at Walmart."

10 Movies I Feel I Should See

Seeing Google's Doodle for Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland today has inspired me to contemplate movies I should see that I never have. The movies that almost everyone has seen, but somehow I missed. Many of these I have good intentions always saying, "I really am going to watch that movie one day", but then I never do.

In no particular order:

1.  Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland
2. Pretty Woman
3. Saving Private Ryan
4. The Big Lebowski
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Godfather
7. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
8. Moulin Rouge
9. Mamma Mia
10. Old Yeller

I am determined to watch these in the next year, and I will keep you updated on my progress!

Conversation Snippet

Blog section that I will post when I find a part of an overhead conversation interesting, humorous, strange, etc.

Where: Subway Eat Fresh
Between: two local university students

Conversation snippet:
Boy 1: "You know what they say. Rice is great if you're hungry and want to eat 2,000 of something."
Girl 1: "What about M&Ms?"

Conversation Snippet

Blog section that I will post when I find a part of an overhead conversation interesting, humorous, strange, etc.

Where: stairs at the bookstore
Between: a man and his presumed wife

Conversation snippet:
Man: "...officially like the way these shoes sound."

No Motivation Friday

Happy No Motivation Friday! The day where it's only 10 am, and you're wondering how much longer till 5. The day you're trying to look busy in order to avoid doing any actual work. The day where you wonder, "Do I need that extra cup of coffee?" and you do. Absolutely.

So again, Happy No Motivation Friday! 'Cause if you had motivation, it just wouldn't be a Friday.

Cat Who Tweets

In case you were wondering what comes out of boredom and genius: my cat's twitter page. I know you all want to follow her. Here's some of her tweeting highlights:

Pet Peeve: Nickname

So let me start off the I may have brought bad pet peeve karma onto myself as my AIM name back in high school was "yewcancallmeEM". No, unfortunately I'm not kidding. At least it's better than "hotNspicey12", right? Now onto my story...

I don't know where this stems from, but I just get very annoyed when people shorten my name from Emily to Em when they barely know me. For example, every time I begin a new job, there are those couple of people who starting calling me Em after knowing me for 48 hours. Please stop.

This past week it has gotten even worse. One co-worker called me Ems. Ems. That was a first, and I wanted to projectile vomit when I heard it. I guess for me, I just assume you only shorten someone's name when you're actually friends with them. Not just whenever you feel like it.

Is it just me that has a problem with this?

Inside Outted

Today I decided to add a little pop to the hum-drum of Wednesday. I pulled on my orange jeans, yanked on my lace shirt, and headed out the door as I was of course running late. I arrived to work around 8:45 am and commenced the daily routine.

Around 4 in the afternoon, I went to the restroom. I casually glanced at myself in the mirror and noticed my tag was out. As I went to tuck it in, I noticed why no it was not out, but rather my shirt was on inside out. The entire day.

I couldn't help but laugh and tell all my co-workers what a mishap it was. The funny thing is, they hadn't noticed either!

Happy Humpday!

Conversation Snippet

Blog section that I will post when I find a part of an overhead conversation interesting, humorous, strange, etc.

Where: local nail salon
Between: nail painter and her customer

Conversation snippet:
Cue heavy, Asian accent. "Oh, you want red. Hot mama! Hot mama!"

Fantasy Football Problems

Some tweets from my fantasy football season thus far:

"Cheering for Matt Ryan when I'm a Saints fan. #FantasyFootballProblems"

"My record is better than the Saints. #FantasyFootballProblems"

Even the celebs are joining in on the hashtag.

Have any to add? Post in the comments below!

NFL Thinks Pink

I really love entering into the month of October. It's usually gorgeous weather, Halloween is coming up, and a great cause is honored in Breast Cancer Awareness month. Not to mention football is in full swing.

Last night was the perfect October Sunday night. I attended Sunday night football in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome and witnessed the Saints (1-4) get their first win of the season. As we were leaving, drunk off of victory, I noticed the Superdome was lit up pink in honor Breast Cancer Awareness. Such a great site!

Party Girl Problems

Went out on Friday night for the first time in a long time. I forgot how great the people watching can be in New Orleans. While sitting at the bar of a well-known spot, my friend and I ran into quite some characters.

• The first lady we met actually happened right outside the bar as the doorman is checking our IDs. An older lady comments, "There's no way y'all are old enough to get in. I could be your grandmother!" Well, we are old enough so in we went. We found two bar stools, and the two next to us were occupied--one by a purse and one by an older man. Well who walks in and sits in the purse-reserved chair, our older lady we had just met outside. She sits down and says, "Oh you girls again! I swear y'all are probably younger than my son!" Which it turns out we were. The rest of the night, she introduced us to people as her granddaughters.
• After grandma and her husband left, a younger and intoxicated couple sat there. Turns out they were from Tennessee. The girls starts talking to us and begins asking us to tell her boyfriend how hot he is. While commencing on this boyfriend-ego-boosting rampage, she lifts up his shirt, exposing his abs, and telling us to go ahead and lick him, she won't be mad. Obviously, my friend and I had no intention of licking a random six pack we see at the bar. The girlfriend then goes in and starts biting his stomach. In the middle of the bar. By the time they left, the boyfriend had a few welted, bite marks over his stomach.
• My personal favorite meet of the night was the gay bartender. As he fed me cheap vodka, we bonded over our mutual love of Lady Gaga. He told me he had "Just Dance" tattooed on his bum. I can neither confirm nor deny the truth of it. 

I couldn't even make this stuff up if I tried.

Five reasons to love Fridays

1. Two glorious days of vegging out in front of the television are ahead of you. Go forth and kill brain cells!

2. You know that alarm that goes off to make you get up for you 9-5 workday? Yeah, you won't be hearing that sucker for a couple of days.

3. Calories don't count on the weekend.

4. Make big plans of things you're finally going to get done this-weekend-I-mean-it. The whole time knowing you won't cross any of them off your list.

5. Procrastinating your last hour of work on social media sites and justifying it because it's Friday and you can just put it off till Monday morning.

Conversation Snippet

New blog section that I will post when I find a part of an overhead conversation interesting, humorous, strange, etc.

Where: Your Neighborhood Walmart
Between: two girls

Conversation snippet:
"...fun fact about the bathroom. Amazing acoustics for whistling."

Conversation Snippet

New blog section that I will post when I find a part of an overhead conversation interesting, humorous, strange, etc.

Where: at work
Between: two coworkers

Conversation snippet:
Female Coworker: "I think I was meant to be a lesbian."
Gay Male Coworker: "Except you like boys. You like boys more than I like boys. And that's a lot."

Why I Shouldn't Work Out

Here we are, the end of summer and beginning of fall. Sure, I don't have to worry about the bikini-bod anymore, but I made a resolution to be healthier. First step, joining a gym. (I want to put off the whole healthy eating thing as long as possible.)

So I actually did follow through and joined a new gym. First, let me start by saying I hate going to new places that I've never been before. It makes me very anxious walking into a brand new place alone. Alas, I bit the bullet and did it anyway.

The new gym was nice place. After getting a tour, I knew it was two stories with cardio on the first floor and weights on the second. I try to avoid steroid juice heads at all cost, so the first floor was my domain.

The cardio area was one large room with mounted TVs in the middle. On one side of the TV divider were the ellipticals and bikes and on the other side treadmills. They were set up to where if you were running on a treadmill, you were facing the people on the ellipticals and bikes (and vice versa). I wasn't a huge fan of this idea, but I just zoned in on the TV and pounded away.

So here I am. First day in a new gym, running on the treadmill, feeling great about being healthy. I'm on the third treadmill in a row of four. I reached my limit around 25 minutes and started the cool down. Now, this gym is one where they have wipes for you to wipe down your machine after a hard core sweat session. So, I bring the treadmill to a stop, grab my iPod and notice that a wipe station is right in front of my treadmill. What perfect position! I barely had to walk at all.

I hop off of my treadmill making a bee-line for the wipes. In my haste, I don't notice that right below my feet is a plug outlet with two plugs--one for the treadmill I was just on and one for the treadmill directly next to the one I just used. I didn't notice these plugs until I stumble/fall/kick one out of the socket. Suddenly, the middle-aged man's treadmill, who I had previously been running next to, comes to a rolling stop. I'm sure my face was twisted into utter disbelief and embarrassment.

He looked at me in a slightly annoyed way as I am stumbling over my apology and trying to replug him back in to the outlet. "Don't worry about, I guess I'm done."

I take this as proof that God doesn't want me to be healthy. He prefers embrace my inner lazy, couch potato. At least I gave everyone on the bikes and ellipticals a comical scene.