Why I Shouldn't Work Out

Here we are, the end of summer and beginning of fall. Sure, I don't have to worry about the bikini-bod anymore, but I made a resolution to be healthier. First step, joining a gym. (I want to put off the whole healthy eating thing as long as possible.)

So I actually did follow through and joined a new gym. First, let me start by saying I hate going to new places that I've never been before. It makes me very anxious walking into a brand new place alone. Alas, I bit the bullet and did it anyway.

The new gym was nice place. After getting a tour, I knew it was two stories with cardio on the first floor and weights on the second. I try to avoid steroid juice heads at all cost, so the first floor was my domain.

The cardio area was one large room with mounted TVs in the middle. On one side of the TV divider were the ellipticals and bikes and on the other side treadmills. They were set up to where if you were running on a treadmill, you were facing the people on the ellipticals and bikes (and vice versa). I wasn't a huge fan of this idea, but I just zoned in on the TV and pounded away.

So here I am. First day in a new gym, running on the treadmill, feeling great about being healthy. I'm on the third treadmill in a row of four. I reached my limit around 25 minutes and started the cool down. Now, this gym is one where they have wipes for you to wipe down your machine after a hard core sweat session. So, I bring the treadmill to a stop, grab my iPod and notice that a wipe station is right in front of my treadmill. What perfect position! I barely had to walk at all.

I hop off of my treadmill making a bee-line for the wipes. In my haste, I don't notice that right below my feet is a plug outlet with two plugs--one for the treadmill I was just on and one for the treadmill directly next to the one I just used. I didn't notice these plugs until I stumble/fall/kick one out of the socket. Suddenly, the middle-aged man's treadmill, who I had previously been running next to, comes to a rolling stop. I'm sure my face was twisted into utter disbelief and embarrassment.

He looked at me in a slightly annoyed way as I am stumbling over my apology and trying to replug him back in to the outlet. "Don't worry about, I guess I'm done."

I take this as proof that God doesn't want me to be healthy. He prefers embrace my inner lazy, couch potato. At least I gave everyone on the bikes and ellipticals a comical scene.