Party Girl Problems

Went out on Friday night for the first time in a long time. I forgot how great the people watching can be in New Orleans. While sitting at the bar of a well-known spot, my friend and I ran into quite some characters.

• The first lady we met actually happened right outside the bar as the doorman is checking our IDs. An older lady comments, "There's no way y'all are old enough to get in. I could be your grandmother!" Well, we are old enough so in we went. We found two bar stools, and the two next to us were occupied--one by a purse and one by an older man. Well who walks in and sits in the purse-reserved chair, our older lady we had just met outside. She sits down and says, "Oh you girls again! I swear y'all are probably younger than my son!" Which it turns out we were. The rest of the night, she introduced us to people as her granddaughters.
• After grandma and her husband left, a younger and intoxicated couple sat there. Turns out they were from Tennessee. The girls starts talking to us and begins asking us to tell her boyfriend how hot he is. While commencing on this boyfriend-ego-boosting rampage, she lifts up his shirt, exposing his abs, and telling us to go ahead and lick him, she won't be mad. Obviously, my friend and I had no intention of licking a random six pack we see at the bar. The girlfriend then goes in and starts biting his stomach. In the middle of the bar. By the time they left, the boyfriend had a few welted, bite marks over his stomach.
• My personal favorite meet of the night was the gay bartender. As he fed me cheap vodka, we bonded over our mutual love of Lady Gaga. He told me he had "Just Dance" tattooed on his bum. I can neither confirm nor deny the truth of it. 

I couldn't even make this stuff up if I tried.

Five reasons to love Fridays

1. Two glorious days of vegging out in front of the television are ahead of you. Go forth and kill brain cells!

2. You know that alarm that goes off to make you get up for you 9-5 workday? Yeah, you won't be hearing that sucker for a couple of days.

3. Calories don't count on the weekend.

4. Make big plans of things you're finally going to get done this-weekend-I-mean-it. The whole time knowing you won't cross any of them off your list.

5. Procrastinating your last hour of work on social media sites and justifying it because it's Friday and you can just put it off till Monday morning.

Conversation Snippet

New blog section that I will post when I find a part of an overhead conversation interesting, humorous, strange, etc.

Where: Your Neighborhood Walmart
Between: two girls

Conversation snippet:
"...fun fact about the bathroom. Amazing acoustics for whistling."

Conversation Snippet

New blog section that I will post when I find a part of an overhead conversation interesting, humorous, strange, etc.

Where: at work
Between: two coworkers

Conversation snippet:
Female Coworker: "I think I was meant to be a lesbian."
Gay Male Coworker: "Except you like boys. You like boys more than I like boys. And that's a lot."

Why I Shouldn't Work Out

Here we are, the end of summer and beginning of fall. Sure, I don't have to worry about the bikini-bod anymore, but I made a resolution to be healthier. First step, joining a gym. (I want to put off the whole healthy eating thing as long as possible.)

So I actually did follow through and joined a new gym. First, let me start by saying I hate going to new places that I've never been before. It makes me very anxious walking into a brand new place alone. Alas, I bit the bullet and did it anyway.

The new gym was nice place. After getting a tour, I knew it was two stories with cardio on the first floor and weights on the second. I try to avoid steroid juice heads at all cost, so the first floor was my domain.

The cardio area was one large room with mounted TVs in the middle. On one side of the TV divider were the ellipticals and bikes and on the other side treadmills. They were set up to where if you were running on a treadmill, you were facing the people on the ellipticals and bikes (and vice versa). I wasn't a huge fan of this idea, but I just zoned in on the TV and pounded away.

So here I am. First day in a new gym, running on the treadmill, feeling great about being healthy. I'm on the third treadmill in a row of four. I reached my limit around 25 minutes and started the cool down. Now, this gym is one where they have wipes for you to wipe down your machine after a hard core sweat session. So, I bring the treadmill to a stop, grab my iPod and notice that a wipe station is right in front of my treadmill. What perfect position! I barely had to walk at all.

I hop off of my treadmill making a bee-line for the wipes. In my haste, I don't notice that right below my feet is a plug outlet with two plugs--one for the treadmill I was just on and one for the treadmill directly next to the one I just used. I didn't notice these plugs until I stumble/fall/kick one out of the socket. Suddenly, the middle-aged man's treadmill, who I had previously been running next to, comes to a rolling stop. I'm sure my face was twisted into utter disbelief and embarrassment.

He looked at me in a slightly annoyed way as I am stumbling over my apology and trying to replug him back in to the outlet. "Don't worry about, I guess I'm done."

I take this as proof that God doesn't want me to be healthy. He prefers embrace my inner lazy, couch potato. At least I gave everyone on the bikes and ellipticals a comical scene.

Halloweezy Time

Since I am the procrastinator extroadinaire, I realized today was crunch time as far as Halloween costumes go. I've know for days that I want to be a hippie (it speaks to my inner personality), I just had not bought the costume yet.

So today, I checked out of work a bit early in order to conquer the costume shopping world. I hit up all the classic shops, but none of the hippie outfits really were what I wanted. I did not want a sparkly, hooch costume. Too typical.

I finally took my search online, hoping it wouldn't be too late. That's when I found it. Not only the perfect hippie outfit, but also the faux leather, knee high boots with flower cut out. Want to see what it looks like, click the title of this post. Fabulous right!

Check it out: http://www.halloweencostumes.com/sexy-hippie-girl-dress.html

How You Know Your Boyfriend is a Madden-Addict

Maddiction is very common among teen and young adult males. Does someone you know suffer from this condition? Not sure how to tell? Here is a quick guide. If the symptoms sound all too familiar to you, seek help immediately. Maddiction can lead to loss of social life, bed sores, and brain deadness.

1. You showed up to Madden Gras 11. Okay, this is a baby sign that must be paired with other symptoms. This fact alone does not in any way make you a Madden addict, but it can be a precursor.

2. You googled videos before the game was released. That's right, you had enough time on your hands to sit around and GOOGLE Madden 11 videos. This allowed you to rally your addiction days or weeks before the game even came out.

3. You had a countdown. I hope for your sake that you didn't because if you show signs of this symptom, you are undoubtedly maddicted. I'm talking a physical countdown i.e. on your computer, on a calendar, numbers you rip off, etc.

4. You got the game at midnight (obviously). A true maddict MUST get the game at midnight, you all need your fix after all. You probably showed up around an hour or so ahead of time. I understand you're excited, but this symptom shows your addiction is taking over.

5. You play. And play. And play. And oh yeah, did we mention play? A full-blown maddiction case needs a lot of time dedication. When you're not working or eating, you're playing Madden of course. You will decline social engagements, reject telephone calls and even avoid unnecessary bathroom trips if it means five more minutes of Madden.

These are five tell-tale signs that you or someone you know is suffering from Maddiction. If this sounds like you, do not stop playing Madden all together for you will suffer from severe withdrawl that may cause you to curl up into the fetal position and whimper. Rather, make attempts to be sociable and alott time for other activities (besides playing Madden, talking about Madden, staring at Madden...).

If you're maddicted, I wish you luck. Maddiction has already claimed so many young lives.